1) Recognize that it exists.
Before You Continue...
Do you know what is your soul number? Take this quick quiz to find out! Get a personalized numerology report, and discover how you can unlock your fullest spiritual potential. Start the quiz now!
Recognizing that you have a problem, like with anything that could be classified as an addiction, is the first step.
2) Make a decision to do something about it.
The next step is to take action. This can be done in a variety of ways. Some people prefer to talk to someone about their difficulties. This could be a meeting with a psychologist or therapist, or simply meeting with someone you trust to talk about the situation. However, talk therapy or meeting with a buddy is rarely an effective treatment for such issues.
Further action may be required for extremely deep and troublesome soul links, which have previously proven difficult to resolve or which may have been made with someone who later turned out to be undeserving.
However, because soul links have existed since the beginning of time despite the fact that they appear to be a recent invention – a variety of other means for breaking them have been developed:
The ancient South American therapeutic brew ayahuasca is one of the oldest. Although it is commonly associated with party drinks in the United States, it is an emotional and spiritual healing tea in its original form.
Many features of the disease we now name a “soul bond” would be recognized by traditional healers in Peru, Brazil, and many other countries of South America. Because of the spiritual therapeutic potential of ayahuasca, it was one of many things for which an ayahuasca ceremony was suggested. The brew is claimed to aid in the re-evaluation of one's life and the relationships created while living it. Spirit Releasement is another name for this process.
Of course, because of the brew's psychotropic characteristics, you should think twice before trying it. However, retreats like as the Spirit Vine Center in Brazil's Atlantic jungle are dedicated to spiritual cleansing and have grown up around preaching the good effects of ayahuasca. Breaking soul bonds and spirit releasement are two classes offered at the Spirit Vine retreat center. Everyone who attends learns how to break free from soul connections in 12 steps. Participants can also discover ways for cleansing the soul of parts from others and reclaiming lost bits of their own soul at programs on Spirit Releasement and Soul Retrieval.
3) Be forgiving.
This is frequently the most challenging step to take. This could be because you believe the other person in the relationship should be asking for your forgiveness. In certain cases, there may be nothing to forgive at all.
In any case, forgiving entails discovering and releasing any remaining mental “debts” that may be keeping the soul tie alive. This may need you to forgive yourself for past decisions – something that is really difficult to accomplish.
4) Untangle the soul ties
The final step is to get rid of any physical items that can connect you to someone. This could be images you're saving “just in case,” gifts you enjoy, and a variety of other things. These are ties' emblems, and they must be erased from your life. Even visualization exercises in which you envision the connection between yourself and the other person and then dissolve it with your will and intention are a powerful means of finally dissolving any attachment.
You should be well on your way to conquering the symptoms of a soul tie once all of the bodily markers, mental debts, and spiritual links have been eliminated.
How do you cut an attachment with someone?
Non-attachment is accepting that work, relationships, and material belongings are all temporary. Instead of wishing that these gifts of life would endure forever, they fully appreciate them now. When you know something is coming to an end, you can let it go without remorse. Accepting that everything will happen according to plan allows you to fully live your life, surfing the waves of your emotions without being held back by them.
Accept the fact that some aspects of your career or relationship are beyond your control. Keep experiences in mind and learn from them, observe your blunders, and consider how you may reduce the number of mistakes you make.
2. Meditate on a daily basis:
Meditation requires you to concentrate completely on the present moment, on mending yourself, on thinking positively, on letting go of any problems, and on the past and future. Your attention is being drawn away from your focus by these thoughts. Find some time each day to be alone in a peaceful space, take in positive vibrations, and talk to God about your life to work on releasing them. Initially, try to meditate for at least fifteen minutes, but after four days, increase the time. Avoid negative thoughts that can harm your mental and physical health by focusing on your breathing and body.
3. Allow yourself to let go of expectations:
We are frequently disappointed by people because of our expectations. When someone betrays your trust, don't dwell on it; instead, learn from it and move on. Concentrate solely on what is essential to you and will help you grow as a person.
For example, don't be concerned if you arrive late for a party with a friend. Tell them you'll drive yourself or find something else to do while you're waiting.
4. Maintain your composure in any situation:
Controlling emotions is another technique to avoid attachment. When things start to bother you, it's an indication that you're holding on to an expectation, an idea, a person, or a thing. Focus on your breathing for a bit. Take a step back from the situation to avoid reacting with anger or despair. When you're at ease and accepting of the circumstance, come back.
5. Lead a moral life:
Maintain your integrity at all times. We often form ties to things we shouldn't be doing because we've done them before with someone. Keep your vows, be honest with others, and don't steal or harm others. Concentrate on looking after yourself.
6. Read non-attachment-related books:
Step out and visit the library to locate intriguing books to read and broaden your knowledge to aid in your non-attachment practice. You may also find books on Amazon and Flipkart. This procedure will be made easier if you keep yourself occupied with good reading.
7. Maintain vigilance in the face of change:
Perhaps you're dealing with the relocation of a friend with whom you had a close relationship. Though you will be saddened by this loss, keep yourself occupied. Experiment with these modifications in the life of your loved ones that have no bearing on your own. Make a list of activities to perform throughout the day to keep you occupied and prevent you from feeling lonely.
8. Make a difference in your environment:
You have control over yourself, even if you don't have control over others. Detaching yourself from something or someone to whom you are enslaved necessitates additional life changes. Reorganize your furniture or cut your hair. Get a pet or declutter your space. Invest your efforts on improving yourself and refocusing your attention on new and better things. This will help you become accustomed to, and even welcome, change as a part of life, making it simpler for you to let go of things and people.
9. Apply what you've learned:
Every emotional connection carries a message. You may recognize that the knowledge is intended to help you learn to accept what you can't change, be more accepting, be more resilient, or do what you can. See if you can take a step back from the emotion and focus on the message you received from the experience. You will profit from the experience as you look back and see an element of progress in it if you have a little more awareness.
ten. Keep yourself occupied:
Don't allow yourself to stay idle and ruminate on the issue; instead, engage in activities that you enjoy. This can be accomplished by keeping oneself occupied with work or by interacting with friends and family.
You can even begin with a new pastime that you have been putting off for a long time. When you begin a new activity, the mishap that must occur to you takes a back seat, and you automatically begin to forget about it.
How do I cut my ex cord?
Cutting cords can be done in a variety of ways. Cutting cords can be done psychologically by envisioning it in your thoughts or physically using thread and scissors. For example, Sollée previously had a difficult and taxing friendship with an ex. She didn't want them completely out of her life, so she used visualization to cut off the dead ends. “I took a few deep breaths, closed my eyes, and visualized an electric-pink, shining cord connecting us. I used that link to convey them love and strength, thanking them for their contribution to my life “she explains. “Then I imagined breaking the chord and the draining features of the relationship dissipating. I spent at least 15 minutes meditating on this image before going about my day.”
What does it mean to be corded to someone?
Have you ever felt like you couldn't get by on your own, or that you were concerned with someone who seemed needy, or that you were in conflict with, or that you were genuinely worried about someone? Then you'll be able to relate to the people in the preceding cases. They're being drained by other people's energetically harmful associations. Cording is the name for this design. We've all been overburdened or scared at some point, and we've all corded. But what is it that makes us feel tethered for such a long time afterward?
What exactly is cording? Cording is a natural, universal, but ineffective way of dealing with situations where we are overwhelmed with need, helplessness, despair, shock, violation, or sympathy. It's an Automatic Protective Energy Pattern (see chapter twelve) that almost everyone experiences at some point in their lives, in which your energy is diverted from its intended goal in order to reach out to someone else. The phenomenon is mentioned in Shamanism and other traditions. Cording is the energizing effect of a stressful situation, an attempt to address an intractable problem or meet a need. Cording can occur in three different situations:
- Because your system has been overburdened by an attack, it is unable to effectively process and resolve it.
To save ourselves or them, we throw cords to others or accept cords from them, attempting to provide or take energy. Babies and mothers frequently exchange cords. When babies are distressed and don't know what to do, they reach out with all of their might for relief. Parents may chord their children in order to address the requirements of their crying, unable-to-communicate-by-talking newborns. But it's not just babies and ‘weak' individuals who do it. Couples that have been arguing for a long time. Frustrated employers and disgruntled employees do. I've met some of the most prevalent corders who are also very successful businessmen. They frequently have no idea how to connect with another person when it comes to relationships since they are so focused with their profession and so much of their energy is invested in winning power struggles, so they cord them in an attempt to make contact or get their needs satisfied. Rapists and their victims are bound together, on the one hand because of the monstrous extent to which they cut themselves off from their own internal life and relieve themselves by attacking others, and on the other hand because of the enormity of the catastrophic disruption of self that occurs when one's identity is invaded by such hostility and sadism.
Cording is not fundamentally a pathological act, despite the fact that it is almost usually thrown during attacks and violence. Sympathy, as opposed to empathy, encourages people to connect on a regular basis since sympathy entails walking into someone else's shoes. The problem is that you may then feel responsible for their demands, drawn into their anxieties, and your energy levels will plummet to match theirs. You are more prone to cord if you feel guilty or have an unconscious idea that you are to blame if someone else is unhappy. One of the most common setups is a combination of feeling responsible and helpless…
What does cording NOT entail? Cording is a common practice. It happens to everyone at some point. The cord is not the feeling of loss or powerlessness. It's a conscious attempt to do something in order to avoid feeling helpless or inept…
Cords aren't the real deal in a relationship. We grow the most in the framework of our relationships, but even the closest families can have snags. In an ideal world, family members would not disengage from each other or grab each other by the neck symbolically in response to stress. While dealing with intensity and misunderstanding, they stay present in themselves and with each other. In reality, they frequently bind each other…
We tend to cord each other when we're going through a hard stretch. The cording then drags down the relationships even more. When I advise that they be removed between children and their parents, or between other family members, people frequently worry that they will lose their love bond. The true link is not broken by decorating. Things straightens it out, removing the tangles and stumbling blocks that come with being stuck. Decording is frequently the item that saves a shaky relationship. When family members no longer feel exhausted, suffocated, pushed on, or worried to death, they have more freedom to breathe and be themselves, as well as learn to interact properly and openly…
Clearing cords has the added benefit of allowing relationships to flourish. You can assist all parties in their development by releasing energy that is stuck in the past or in a state of helplessness. Love and connectedness have more freedom to surface when the links are cut, freed from the matted weeds of unresolved anguish.
Whether you corded another person or allowed yourself to be corded, you must return your attention to yourself. What events in your life have lead you to believe that you need to save others or that you need to be rescued? What good does it do you to be the strong, caring one, or to believe you can't manage life? Do you feel compelled to attend to others' emotional needs, regardless of the cost to yourself? What did you fear would happen if you didn't do it in the past? You'll be able to realize that the current circumstance isn't actually settling the past or the future once you've answered these questions. Allowing the future, even the next hour, to be what it is is preferable to attempting to avoid it by wasting energy capital and damaging oneself.
Cutting cords is an example of how NOT to decorate:
Some cord-related traditions recommend that you cut the cord. I don't recommend that because I've seen a lot of individuals go to a practitioner who has done it and the cord is still flying around. They don't seem to be getting any better. They aren't fully free of the troublesome individual. They haven't managed to overcome their desire to toss or take cables. Furthermore, the cords have not been entirely re-integrated. They're constructed of genuine vitality. You haven't handled the energetic issue of having your energy out there in the first place, or of allowing someone else's energy into your area, if you merely cut them. And, in order to feel at ease, the individual will frequently cord someone else. It is necessary to undo the stasis holding them in place, complete the energy's return to its original pattern, allow the pattern that led to their being set up to undo, and then seal any rifts in the field in order to change the energetic event and learn to establish your boundaries in a healthier way.
Mary Pat had tried numerous types of healing and shamanism before meeting with me. She's a therapist who works with people who have personality disorders, and she sensed their attempts to strangle her. She could also feel the ropes entangling them in their own terrible patterns. “When working with borderlines, I'd start snipping” (a diagnosis for people like the character Glenn Close played in the movie Fatal Attraction). However, the method you're teaching it is more comprehensive and connected to what's really going on.”
What method do you use to decorate?
It will take some effort. The cords aren't thrown in a neat manner. They entail a variety of energies, based on the events and the person's unconscious desires or emotions. The cords are sticky and locked in if humans have been attacked (or have attacked others). Cords are even thrown in a tangle or as a scrambled blanket if people are desperate or the relationship is formed. Decording should be done in a systematic manner across the chakras to ensure that all sorts of energy are released. (Refer to the end of chapter thirteen for a refresher on the chakras.)
Survival, aliveness, sex, and power; emotions; integrity, connection, and love; and self-expression are the five most typically involved since they are the sites of the physical and emotional energies that we normally employ with other people. The eighth, which has to deal with boundaries, is also commonly included. (I work with a total of fifteen chakras.) We'll go over each of these in order to practice. You'll eventually be able to identify where you're corded and where you're not.
- They throw you because they're trying to get rid of some of their own baggage by dumping it on you.
Take a few moments to figure out which type you have. It's crucial to be able to understand the generating scenario clearly in order to clear the cords. (If you're having trouble figuring out where yours came from, seek the help of a therapist or someone who is well-versed in Energy Medicine.) You'll need someone who can see through your unique snafu.)
First, make sure your energy is aligned with the task at hand by declaring explicitly that you want to decorate, that you want your energy back, and that you will no longer tolerate being drained by others. Make any concealed assumptions about the need to save others at the price of your own well-being explicit. (Once you're free of cords, you'll see that it's neither useful or healthy for either of you.) This will set your intention, and your system will start releasing the chord locks and assisting you in your process.
It will be beneficial if you can suspend any skepticism you may have regarding the existence of cords, let alone your ability to detect them, and use your purpose to become aware of the energy you have invested in your issue person, and/or that they have attached to you. Experiment in a lighthearted, exploratory, or anthropological manner. Give yourself a chance to succeed. Self-doubt is the most significant impediment to using your energy consciously.
Take three deep breaths into your abdomen to ground yourself. The ground and the middle. Allow yourself to be free of all external concerns. Make yourself as conscious of your body as possible. Move down into your core, through the backs of your knees to your feet, up your back into your neck and head, through the fullness of your torso, into your shoulders, arms, and hands. As you go around the interior of your body, pay careful attention to any tight spots that you tend to overlook. Stop for a moment and just be in that space without trying to change it. Simply stand next to it and softly invite your energy, light, or warmth to enter. Intend for the energy to flow in such a way that you are awake in both the difficult and easy parts of yourself. Develop a stronger sense of belonging within your own body.
Imagine a person with whom you are stuck and conflicted. Place them in front of you in your mind's eye. We always clear the cables from the other person before pulling in the ones the client has sent when I teach folks how to do this. So, in your mind's eye, imagine that the stuckness you're experiencing is in the shape of cables from them to you. You may notice them looking at you with their usual helpless, hurt, accusing or condemning eyes, or acting as if you owe them, or as if they own you, depending on your experience with them.
Imagine a cord connecting their first chakra, located at the base of their spine, to you. It will normally land in your first chakra area, however this is not always the case. Take what you can get.
What is the method of attachment? Is it similar to a USB port? Is that a fish hook? Is there a latch? What's that thing on the end of your headphones? Perhaps it's similar to a suction cup or a claw hook. Imagine yourself unhooking, disconnecting, or gently tugging it out of you, whatever it is. Feel the energy in the cord as if it were palpable, then send it back to the other person. If you want, make shooing motions with your hands, as if brushing crumbs off your lap, and keep that energy going out of your extended space, your public space. It seems to be receding into the distance. It is not your responsibility to compel someone to reclaim their energy! You don't have to reconnect with them in that way. It's actually better if you don't. It is their job to take care of their own energies and behaviors. It is only your responsibility to clean up your personal area. Stay grounded when doing this so you stay in your body and don't get too caught up in the flow of energy. (When you're doing this, you don't want to be too ferocious.) If you were pushing a chair, you'd have to keep gripping it in order to push it. You want to let go, dust off your hands, and go on.) It is no longer under your control after it has left your space.
Examine their second chakra now. Imagine a cord running from their navel to you, about one-and-a-half inches below. Remove it from your grasp and send it on its way. Remember that you're just accountable for getting it out of your space, not for getting it back all the way. So, feel your aura all the way out to the horizon. It's easier to get it out if you're aware that you're occupying your own area.
Feel a cord connecting their solar plexus/diaphragm area (third chakra) to yours. Disconnect it from you and insist on it moving away from you and towards them. Intend for it to expand all the way out of your extended space, disappearing into the distance as it approaches them. Consider how your energy feels without it, in your own domain, unencumbered by theirs.
Continue with the fourth step, detaching their cord from you and sending it out at the heart level.
The sixth eye is located at the third eye. The seventh is located at the top of the head. The sixth and seventh grades are less likely to have cords, although it is conceivable.
Then try the eighth, which has to do with limits and is located below the collarbone in the hollows in front of the shoulders. Disconnect their cables from your field and demand that their energy leave.
Then, if you've opened your eyes, close them again and breathe into your stomach and hips. Check in with your body and allow it to calm for a moment without being drained by the cords.
Now, imagine that your investment in your problem person, whether from worry or feeling assaulted, is a cord, and your survival energy is affected. Send your awareness down to your first chakra area, at the bottom of your torso, and imagine that your investment in your problem person, whether from worry or feeling assaulted, is also a cord, and your survival energy is affected. Take note of how your rivalry has sucked energy from you that you can't afford to spend. You will be more energetic and totally present within yourself when you pull in your own cords and bring your energy back into your own sphere (and with other person, if you choose to be).
Insist on getting it back. Untangle your cable from them and imagine yourself reeling it in like a fishing line or a hose on a reel. Remind yourself that it is made of your own energy as it approaches you, even if it has been gone from home for a long time. It is not the energy of the other person. It isn't anything strange or hazardous. Take a deep breath into the middle of your pelvic bowl as it approaches. Exhale down your legs into your feet, making sure you breathe all the way to the rear. When the energy reaches their skin in the front, people have a tendency to halt. Invite it all the way in since it belongs merged with the energy system inside. After a brief moment of “Oh yeah, here I am, finally home!” Phew!” It will revert to its previous state before being ejected out of your system.
Imagine you have a cord from your second chakra, below your navel, to your conflict person once the first one feels entirely re-integrated. Untangle it from them and insist on bringing the energy back. Allow any emotional awareness you have to just be there as you reel it in. Allow your energy system to reconnect by breathing into the back of your sacrum.
Now visualize a cable running from your solar plexus to them. Disconnect it from them and insist on bringing it home. There's nothing wrong with making gathering signals with your hands. Allow it to enter through the opening in front of you and then let it settle. Deeply inhale and exhale up and down your spine.
Continue with the fourth, just above the base of your throat, the fifth, just above the base of your neck, and the eighth, just in front of your shoulders and below your collarbone.
Remember that they are accountable for their own life and sustenance. If their energy seems to flail or behave toxically as a result of you undoing the bonds, remember that they are responsible for their own life and sustenance. By not taking over for them, you are giving them the opportunity to learn about their own routines. They'll be fine dealing with their own energies.
Allow that person to vanish from your awareness once you feel your energy has returned to its proper place in your system. Take a few deep breaths and check in with yourself. Feel what it's like not to be tethered to them. Feel your unique edges as a distinct individual, not as a tangled tangle.
To avoid becoming corded in the future: With practice, you can avoid getting corded in the future and reduce your tendency to cord. You'll be able to recognize the feeling of wholeness that occurs when your system is free of such quagmires as you clear cords. You'll also notice them more easily when they happen again, and you'll be able to decord before any long-term negative patterns emerge or you feel depleted and resentful.
Never give from the depths of your well, but from your overflow, as the Sufi proverb goes. Decording allows you to do just that.
Are soul ties Mutual?
Soul bonds can be one-sided or reciprocal. When a person feels cognitively connected to someone in a variety of ways (or when someone elicits an emotional response in them), but the other party does not reciprocate or feel the same, the latter arises. Some examples of one-sided soul bonds are listed below.
A One-Sided Soul Tie with a Significant Other
Godly or ungodly soul links with significant others exist, and a one-sided soul bond with a significant other is usually ungodly. When one becomes unduly attached to the other, which can be an indication of toxic relationships, this type of soul tie develops.
Some ties begin in a godly way since they are formed through marriage, but they might subsequently become broken, warped, or perverted. This shift might occur as a result of violated pledges or commitments.
A One-Sided Soul Tie with a Family Member
Soul links can also be formed with one's relatives. These can exist between siblings, as well as between parents and children. When feelings between family members grow unnatural, a soul tie can become one-sided and ungodly.
A child who despises their father or mother because of their overbearing and domineering habits is an example. It's equally possible that the contrary is true. It is also possible for a parent and kid to create an idolatrous soul bond, which is equally immoral.
A One-Sided Soul Tie with a Friend
When there is treachery and abuse in the relationship, healthy soul bonds between friends can become one-sided and ungodly. One may find themselves relying on a buddy to supply their needs on a regular basis, severing the soul bond between them.
A One-Sided Soul Tie with a Stranger
With someone they've never met, people might create one-sided soul relationships. This tie is made possible by the internet, which allows people to interact and form relationships regardless of distance.
A One-Sided Soul Tie with a Sexual Partner
One of the most dangerous sorts of one-sided soul ties is the one developed as a result of a one-night stand. Sex is an intimate act between two people that can bring them together not only physically, but also emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. When one (or both) of them creates an unhealthy soul tie, sex between two individuals who don't love each other becomes disastrous.
How do you cut the cord in a relationship?
Imagine cutting a chord between you and this individual. Tell the person that you love and appreciate them, but that you are no longer bound to them. Imagine cutting the cords and returning your focus to your body. You may also make the practice physical by using a thread (ideally black) and imagining yourself at one end and the other (or you can use photos). Burn/cut the centre of the thread with a candle or scissors. Send your thanks to the relationship and fling the thread out the window.
What causes emotional detachment?
It's possible that emotional detachment is a choice. Some people choose to maintain an emotional distance from a person or circumstance.
Emotional detachment can also be caused by trauma, abuse, or a previous encounter. Previous experiences may make it difficult to be open and honest with a friend, loved one, or significant other in these situations.
By choice
Some people prefer to withdraw themselves from an emotionally charged environment on purpose.
If you have a family member or a coworker who you know disturbs you a lot, this could be an option. You have the option of refusing to interact with the individual or individuals. This will help you keep your cool and maintain your composure.
Emotional detachment serves as a protective strategy in instances like this. It assists you in preparing for situations that would otherwise overwhelm you.
As a result of abuse
Emotional detachment can occur as a result of traumatic events in childhood, such as abuse or neglect. Emotional detachment can develop in children who have been abused or neglected.
How do you cut soul ties with your ex?
- Tell the person's soul that you wish them well in life but that you don't want to be in a relationship with them any longer. (This release will not be heard by the person's physical ears, but it will be heard by their spirit!)