Someone who cares about you and wants the best for you is a spiritual mentor. They understand that having a personal relationship with Christ is the most essential thing in life, so they encourage you to invest in it. As a result, you will be able to progress spiritually and in your religion.
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What to talk about with a spiritual mentor?
The term “spiritual disciplines” may sound scary, but it simply refers to the spiritual habits we develop in order to connect with God. Prayer, reading the Bible, fasting, and giving money are all spiritual disciplines through which God meets each person individually. Inquiring into your mentor's unique ways of encountering God on a daily basis can provide you with encouragement as well as a larger understanding of how God operates in the world.
Who is a mentor according to the Bible?
Mentoring occurs when one individual gives assistance and uses his or her resources to assist another person, resulting in growth. Abraham, a mentor to Isaac, Jacob, a mentor to Joseph, Moses, a mentor to Joshua, Elijah, a mentor to Elisha, and David, a mentor to Solomon are the Biblical figures.
What is the difference between a spiritual father and a mentor?
The most important distinction between a mentor and a spiritual father is that a mentor, in general, leads the mentee through a specific stage of life. A spiritual father has a closer relationship with his “kid” and concentrates on spiritual enrichment and development throughout their lives.
How do you ask someone to be a spiritual mentor?
However, asking someone to mentor you can be awkward after all, this is a major favor to ask. So, before you drop the question, see if there are any signs that someone would be willing to mentor you. Is this person genuinely interested in you and your profession? Have you ever had conversations about work-related issues that resulted in actionable items for you? Has he or she shared professional expertise with you in a kind and supportive manner? When you ask for help, has your possible mentor been ready to patiently spend time with you to help you improve your skills? Is this person qualified/experienced enough to deal with your specific mentoring issues?
If that's the case, you've undoubtedly found someone who would be an excellent mentor. Your goal should be to build on the positive connections you've already had to establish a more structured learning relationship. And it all starts with you figuring out what your relationship's goals are, how you'll arrange your work together, and what you'll specifically want your mentor to do.
Identifying your mentoring goals and relationship
Do you want to get some advice on how to improve your communication style? Are you looking for advice on a possible promotion opportunity? What advice do you have for the next steps in your career? Do you need assistance honing your leadership skills?
You'll want to be specific about the reason for your mentoring request so that your possible mentor knows how he or she can help or even if he or she can help at all.
Are you intending to meet for coffee and discussion once a week, once a month, or on some other schedule to structure your work together? (Of course, this is contingent on your mentor's availability, but it's helpful to give a sense of what you were thinking.)
Are you searching for general advice on your main concerns, reading and/or resource recommendations, professional connections, suggested actions to take/practice, or some other sort of coaching?
Posing the mentoring question
You're ready to ask someone to mentor you if you've thought through these issues. Here's how you can do it:
Make an appointment for a first meeting. Inquire with your possible mentor about scheduling a 15- to 30-minute meeting with you. You don't want to be rushed, and you want enough time for the other person to ask you questions about your ambitions, objectives, and so on.
Clearly state what kind of help you're looking for. This is when your prior brainstorming will come in handy in articulating exactly what you're thinking about.
Confirm your commitment to doing the required work and following through. There's nothing more annoying than mentoring someone who doesn't put in the effort required to benefit from advise, so make it obvious to your potential mentor that you're willing to put in the time, energy, and effort required to benefit from their advice (and time).
Recognize and value the time of the individual. Most people who are requested to be mentors are at the top of their professions, which means they are incredibly busy and in high demand. As a result, it's critical that you acknowledge that reality and express your gratitude for their consideration of your request. This is also a nice technique to give the other person an excuse to decline your offer by citing an overbooked schedule.
Susan, I've liked and learnt a lot from our previous chats, and I'd like to ask a favor of you based on my admiration for the way you've built your profession. I'm at a point in my career where I believe I may benefit from some mentoring in order to more effectively build my management skills in order to advance to a directorship position.
I was hoping we could meet for coffee every two weeks for roughly 90 minutes to share your advice on topics I should address. For each meeting, I would prepare a meeting agenda, develop a list of any follow-up items that arose from our conversations, execute the action items over the next two weeks, and report on my progress. I'll set aside at least five hours per week to follow up on the topics we discussed.
I understand that your schedule is extremely hectic, therefore I completely understand if you are unable to fit this type of commitment into your other activities. In any case, thank you for taking the time to consider my request, and I look forward to our occasional talks!
You've demonstrated that you've done the necessary groundwork by outlining goals, providing a framework, and promising to follow through on your talks with this request. This will give your potential mentor confidence that you'll make the most of his or her involvement in your professional achievement.
Kim Dority is the founder and president of Dority & Associates, Inc., a content planning and development firm based in Colorado, and the author of Rethinking Information Work and the LIS Career Sourcebook (Libraries Unlimited, 2006 and 2012).
What are spiritual questions?
2. Is it necessary for everyone on the world to work toward a common goal? If that's the case, what would it be?
3. Can you think of something on which everyone could agree, despite the fact that we live in a chaotic world?
4. What is the most rational thing you've ever overheard?
5. Do you ever compare yourself to anyone?
6. What hard facts would you rather avoid?
7. How do you know when something is art and when it isn't?
8. What is the purpose of dreaming?
9. Where do you get your sense of self-worth?
10. Do you believe humanity will continue to exist for another 1,000 years?
What should I ask a spiritual person?
In a blank document or blog post, copy and paste the questions below. Answer each question as completely as possible, then post your responses on your personal blog.
1. What causes the world's poverty and suffering?
2. How do science and religion relate to each other?
3. What is causing so many individuals to be depressed?
4. What is it that we are all so terrified of?
5. When is it acceptable to go to war?
6. What would God want us to do if we were confronted with hostility or terrorism?
7. What is the best way to achieve true peace?
8. What does it mean to be present in the moment?
9. What is our most significant source of distraction?
10. Is today's religion fulfilling its mission?
11. What happens once you pass away?
12. Explain how to get to paradise and how to get there.
What is the purpose of life?
14. Write a description of God.
15. What is the most important attribute that people have?
16. What holds people back from reaching their full potential?
17. Act out what you perceive is the current state of the world nonverbally, using just motion or gestures.
18. What is one wish you have for the world?
19. What does knowledge entail, and how do we acquire it?
20. Are we all the same person?
What happens in a spiritual direction session?
Spiritual direction appointments last around an hour and take place once a month. The director and directee discuss the prospect of having a spiritual direction relationship during the first meeting. They decide on meeting times, locations, costs, and other logistics if they choose to continue meeting.
What does the Bible teach about mentoring?
Mentorship is essential to Christian discipleship, of course. The Twelve were mentored by Jesus “to know him (and, through him, to know the Father) and to re-present God's love in the world” (John 13:1)to know him (and, through him, to know the Father) and to re-present God's love in the world. Despite the fact that he reminded them, “He bathed their feet and said, “Servants are not greater than their lord.”
Was Jesus a coach or a mentor?
Because the world of athletics is so pervasive, coaching carries a sense of familiarity and power. A coach in athletics has typically participated in the sport in question and thus has a databank and history that qualifies him to teach. There is unmistakably a knowledge or skill transfer from coach to player.
Parents training their teenagers is my favorite coaching analogy. Parents discipline, instruct, and train their children when they are young “in the way they should go” emphasizing the importance of living a holy, wealthy, and moral life. However, once teenagers begin their first year of high school, “Parents who grasp the importance of shifting from training to coaching recognize that they will lose influence if they do not do so. If parents do not allow their children to participate in sports, “Most teenagers learn the hard way, or not at all, how to play the game of life.
Parents who coach their children well allow them to succeed “While walking the sidelines, they “walk the field” a little at a time. Coaches who know what they're doing don't throw their teenagers into the game of life all at once. They put them out on the field for four downs to see how they perform. If all goes well, it'll be eight downs, then twelve, and so on. When a teen makes a mistake, the prudent parent-coach takes him or her off the field for more instruction, reprimand, or even punishment. The coach returns his player to the field when the timing is right.
Adult education is becoming more popular “Data, skill, or knowledge transmission are not necessary for “life-coaching.” A life coach, like a high school teacher or a politician, can help a “rocket surgeon.”
When a student contacts or contracts with an instructor for the sole purpose of completing a new project or goal, this is known as life coaching “transferring from one chair to the next.” Writing a book, starting a healthier lifestyle, overcoming interpersonal difficulties, or obtaining a professional advancement are all examples. Life coaching can be used in almost any situation where a coachee desires to make a change.
Coaching is not for everyone. Life coaching necessitates a certain level of mental and emotional health on the side of the coachee: the ability to honestly answer questions, perceive reality for what it is, and the willingness to implement agreed-upon adjustments on their own.
When one individual wishes to replicate the life of another, usually including the mentor's personal patterns and habits, mentoring takes place. Several specific abilities, particularly those related to leadership or commercial acumen, are frequently included. Mentoring is popular in the corporate sector, as well as in the fields of law, medicine, and religion.
Discipleship, on the other hand, occurs solely in a religious setting; it is the process of developing someone in their faith in Christ. Discipleship, when done effectively, involves all elements of life, including how one conducts oneself in the workplace, family, and church. Even in the church, the notion and use of the term “mentoring” has virtually superseded the phrase “discipleship.”
Jesus mentored his followers, in the sense that he taught them how to live as he did in order for them to prosper in his absence. In reality, he practiced the kind of mentoring that has the most impactthe kind that isn't centered on scheduled sessions and a fixed curriculum. His trainees were given access to Jesus' daily existence. They saw him eat, travel, educate, heal, rest, visit, and engage with both detractors and admirers.
Mentees frequently ask questions and offer comments that apply directly to a certain circumstance while walking alongside the mentor, enhancing and growing the relationship. This takes time, much more time than other types of relationships, but the time has already been invested because the mentor is simply living his or her life and the mentee is accompanying them.
Giving a student or resident access at several touch points in your life each week, on the other hand, multiplies the advantage of influencing their life for God's Kingdom.
This is obviously more intimidating, but if correctly put up, you can tell the mentee that he or she will see you at your best and worst, shining like a hero in dazzling armor but simultaneously stinking like the sinner you are.
Perhaps the following will assist to distinguish several differences between coaching, mentoring, and discipleship:
Consulting is focused on a certain activity or piece of information. The emphasis is on practical topics such as how to manage more successfully, talk more clearly, or learn to think strategically. This necessitates a content specialist capable of advising the consultant's client on how to improve these abilities.
Life-Coaching focuses on any problem that a coachee wishes to discuss, such as managing more efficiently, speaking more articulately, transitioning from merely surviving to thriving in a difficult relationship, learning how to think strategically, or even publishing a book. A competent coach, on the other hand, just asks terrific questions that explore and challenge the coachee. Rather of employing an outside expert consultant, the coachee is the expert on his or her own life. They know how to do what they want to do better than anyone else, but they employ a life coach to guide them through the process. The life coach inspires the coachee by probing his or her thinking with stimulating questions and assisting him or her in setting measurable goals or action points to that aim. The action points, however, are determined by the coachee.
Mentoring (discipleship) focuses on relationships, but it also encompasses all elements of the mentor's and mentee's lives. It aims to create a safe environment in which the mentor can discuss any concerns that are interfering with his or her career and/or personal achievement. Although specific learning objectives or competencies may be utilized to establish the link, it also considers factors such as work/life balance, self-confidence, self-perception, and how the personal influences the professional. This greater context of all elements of life has permitted, even facilitated, the increasingly ubiquitous usage of this phrase in place of discipleships throughout the last few decades. Mentoring has become common parlance in the church, including what was once limited to discipleship.
Coaching is a short-term commitment. Although a coach can successfully coach a client for a short length of time, perhaps just a few sessions, many coaches require at least three months or 12 sessions. Depending on the aim of the coaching relationship, the coaching might last as long as it is needed.
Mentoring is usually a long-term commitment. Mentoring, in order to be successful, requires time for both partners to learn about one another and establish a climate of trust in which both the mentor and the mentee can feel comfortable disclosing the true challenges that affect his or her success. Successful mentoring relationships often endure for 1-2 years, though they can extend much longer as the mentee matures. As the two become closer together, successful mentoring partnerships typically turn into mutual mentorship. As a result, unlike coaching, most experts advocate that mentoring relationships be between two people of the same gender.
Coaching is a result-oriented process. The goal of coaching is to assist an individual in reaching the desired outcome in a given situation. The coach is no longer required once the desired objective has been attained. However, after they see the value of a coach, many people just move on to another issue or goal, or hire their coach on an as-needed basis. Without their personal coach, the most effective life coaches I know would never be able to help others.
Mentoring is based on a person's growth or maturity. Its goal is to improve an individual's professional skills at the very least, and it frequently incorporates personal habits and maturity. A professional mentor's focus and outcome would be limited to skills relating to an individual's job. A full-orbed mentor, on the other hand, would take into account and address every part of the mentee's life, including but not limited to their professional abilities (though they might not do that specific training). It would also involve personal discipline, integrity difficulties, personal connection with people in the job, neighbors & family members, timeliness, dress, financial objectives, mental health, and even one's relationship with God – and everything that goes with it.
Design is not required for coaching. Coaching can be done nearly immediately on any topic and is sometimes limited to only one coaching session unless the coachee requests that they return to the same issue.
Mentoring, as I've defined and constructed it, entails just walking alongside one's mentor in various facets of life, seeing how the mentor goes about his or her business, and asking and responding to questions prompted by the mentee along the way. Mentors with experience establish their own agendas along the road and purposefully expose mentees to a wide range of topics and circumstances relevant to their work and spiritual life.
- When a scenario happens at work, home, church, or in the community that requires a neutral party to talk through an issue,
- If you're just getting started in life, whether it's in your medium to late teen years, college, or early professional life, finding a mentor is one of the best things you can do.
- Co-mentoring eventually replaces mentoring since two people are accountable to one other, going to the gym together, attending small groups together, having coffee together on a regular basis, vacationing together, serving the poor together, and so on. However, co-mentoring should not come at the expense of mentoring a mentee.
Conclusion: Much, if not all, of the foregoing is dictated by the seasons of life. The current status at home, whether married with young children or teenagers, empty nesters with adult children and grandchildren living in the area or in another state, single, or single again, etc. all of these situations necessitate different needs, but the benefits of hiring a coach at different touch points, at various times in life, are enormous.
Similarly, regardless of one's circumstances or life structure, we all require and benefit from regular accountability with someone older than our spouse. We descend into our base state as sinners if left to our own devices, without the sharpening of iron on iron, scratching and swearing in public, not bathing or shaving often enough…
When God planned most of us to spend the majority of our lives with one person, our spouse, he understood what he was doing. But he also realized that in order to question the motives and thinking of our hearts and brains, women needed to share routinely with other women and men needed to work together, smoke an occasional cigar, and have a beer together.
God's plan for us is not for us to live in isolation. He intended for us to live in community. We must make an effort to seek each other out in today's western culture. Intentionality is required in the types of relationships outlined above.
Michael grew up in Seattle, Washington, on the “left” coast. He received his bachelor's degree from Biola University in 1975 and his master's degree from Western Seminary in 1979. He has been the Western Regional Director for CMDA since 1984, after helping to start a church in Gresham, Oregon. He lives in Portland with his wife Linda and their two married children.